It's been a while

It's been a while since I posted anything here.  That was both an accident and intentional.  I realized that my blogging was initially taking the place of my Facebooking, and the whole purpose of me leaving FB was to eliminate my need to tell everything to the world.

So, what have I been up to? Well, in short... TONS!  I have started going to the gym 4 days a week.  Yoga on Wednesdays.  On the weekends I have been keeping as busy with my husband as possible.  Cleaning the house, walking the dogs, seeing friends, so on and so forth.  I have been to Texas, visited family, volunteered at work.

I was at a little bit of a turning point around Thanksgiving.  So many people were talking about communicating on FB, and I was seriously considering going back.  My husband surprised me for my birthday and arranged to go stand up paddle boarding with my dad (he is an instructor).  It was such a cool experience!  While I was out there just feet away from otters and sea lions it hit me that THIS experience is what I left FB for.  Life is happening here and now... and I want to do that!  Not read about it through someones status.

So why am I sitting down now to blog?  Well, my little family (husband and two dogs) are all asleep on my mothers couch.  My husband just had two of his wisdom teeth out this morning along with another procedure called a frenectomy on his tongue.  This is the first time in weeks that I haven't been working, working out, cleaning etc...

We are moving in a month which is going to be great!  We have found a place that is about 2/3 of what we thought we would be spending on rent.  It is on 5 acres less than a block from where we live now.  The new place will require some work in order to make it what we want.... again something other than FB.

Well, now I have to go finish the mashed potatoes for my lovely husband.  Poor guy.... I anticipate him needing a lot of TLC.

So... whaddoIdonow?

Worked all day, went to gym, stopped by friends house for a glass of wine and some dogs harness help... So... whaddoIdonow?

I came home washed the dishes, fed the dogs, made myself a quesadilla (a kick back to my single days)... So.... whaddoIdonow?

Get on it!  Get on it, Em!  In my head I thought over the weekend that I would be able to do a a few projects, clean the house, relax and be SUPER productive without Oz, blah, blah, blah... not so much.

OK really... time to get on it... but I want to facebook.  That is what I would normally do.  It is time to do something.... something other than facebook.  Should I do a double day at the gym tomorrow?!  ACK!  No one is here to help me with anything!  So... whaddoIdonow?

I'm feeling a bit alone, and normally I would turn to Facebook for company and consolation.

OK... I'm going to figure out what I do now.

CHEATER!

Yes.  It happened.  I CHEATED!  Not only did I cheat, but I looked up someone I wasn't even friends with before!  This is even worse because I was TOTALLY passive aggressively stalking this person.  Long story short, I was on FB for work posting something and then I realized I was looking at a facebook of someone I knew but wasn't even friends with.  Instantly, I felt as though I didn't really have to say anything.  No one would know... except me.  But, it would defeat the purpose of this whole thing.  I chose honesty.

So it hit me.  I need to become more conscious of what I am doing with myself.  I made these goals in my first blog about actually doing something instead of Facebooking.  So if I had time to facebook, then I have time to go to the gym.  I went, I joined, and day one was today.  I did it!  I feel great.  I am now posting this blog while taking a break from packing for an early morning gym visit before work tomorrow.

I am focussing as much as possible about DO-ing something.  Cleaning.  Gymin' it up.  Trying to think creatively (I have a project in mind and will probably post something about it soon).  Be here now, if you will.

I find myself thinking of posts in my head while I am out and about or soing something.  I was at Costco buying edamame and a dog bed (first, who goes there to buy two things? Second, the two things are totally random!)  So I am standing there in line and the guy in front of me brought his coupons (Costco has coupons?) a day early and of coarse his purchase turned into a big ol CF (cluster f...).  I so wanted to post it on FB.  Then I thought, who really cares about me being at Costco?

It is a different perspective "looking up" instead of down at my cell phone continuously scanning FB.  It is nice.

I am enjoying this time.  Will do my best to not cheat anymore.  I will continue to focus on being here now and all my goals.

Alone

I am alone, at home, no plans, and it's Friday night.  Normally, not a problem.  I would just jump on FB... and now... am I just expected to watch TV?!  I would normally cruise FB, the way I used to cruise downtown with my friends in high school.  I would laugh at the people drunk posting, maybe run into a friend and have a nice chat, and end the night by liking a few things.  Now, I have a glass or orange juice.

I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this.

But if this computer stares me down one more time to taunt me with how EASY it would be to just go on FB.... I will post another BLOG!

(PS: I have already cleaned, petted the dogs, and am not going to do sit ups because I have a stomach ache.)

Is it a cheat?

So is it a cheat if I logged back into my facebook to try to find my Living Social Voucher?  Well I did.  Then I had to log in to FB to deactivate my account again.  Anyhow, I just thought I would share.

Day 2: Withdrawls?

.... Today has been an emotional roller coaster.  Tired.  Tears.  Laughing.  Frustration.  But not because of my facebook-less life... because one of my great, great friends completed her final day working with me.  I was also at work at 7am.  Ouch.  Still nothing compared to when I worked as Starbucks and was at work at 4am...  I digress.

Half way through the day my boss said, "I hope I don't look as tired as you!"

It's hard to feel tired when you love your job.  I would go in at 5am... maybe not on a regular basis.  But I would because I love it.

But back to my facebook-less life.  There were so many times today that I thought I wanted to facebook something... but rather than dropping and doing 20 pushup I continued with my day.  I feel a sense of freedom.  Like things are more intimate in my life.  I don't have to share EVERYTHING!   I can enjoy the day and perhaps have a great conversation with my husband about it. Already my facebook-less life is a +1.

I suppose the question remains... did I feel like I was cheating when I posted a few things to Facebook for work?  No... because I didn't want to post that for myself.  I posted that for the shelter.  For the animals that will have a new temporary home.  For the shelter who was sending off a wonderful employee that touched countless animal and human lives.

Today in a world where I want to say SO much, and post so many things... Instead I will leave you with these:

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Steve Jobs

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

Day 1 of my Facebook-less Life

It's gone.  Deleted.  Done.
.......
OH!  But, what are THEY saying?  Who are they?  What are the posts?!  Steve Jobs died?  OH!  How I want to post something about how I will miss his vision and how visionless this world somehow seems now.

(sigh)

This is my Facebook-less life.

So... why?  Why did I leave? I don't know... but, in a way, I do!

I have been thinking of this for a while.  I have mentioned it to a few friends.  I do social networking for work... so am I the sober sommelier?  Am I the vegan beef rancher?  NO!  I am not quitting completely!  I have my LinkedIn, Twitter, FourSquare and even Google+ (even though I am a total skeptic about this one) and Pintrest accounts.

I began to realize EVERYTHING in my life was about Facebook.
If I was bored... facebook.
Am I not quite sleepy?  Facebook.
Not included in a conversation? Facebook.
Hilarious conversation that nobody who was not there will understand?  Facebook.
Dogs being cute? Facebook.
Husband shaves?  Facebook.
Good Morning!  Facebook.
Good Night! Facebook.
Hungry?  Facebook!
Any random reason? Facebook!

Really... Really?

It was in a way taking away from what I was enjoying in life.  If I am not immediately engaged with someone in front of me WHY do I need to be engaged with my phone?

There are some vain reasons too of why I quit... I don't like how I looked as I was posting on my iPhone.  I look mad.  Squinty.  Why not look up, and smile.... be engaged with a person.  Not my phone.

So, what is the goal?

Do what I used to do.  I had a life prior to Facebook... and maybe this is specifically an addiction to my iPhone... but the one thing that I constantly used was Facebook.

Here are my goals based on what voids Facebook filled for me:

• Keeping in touch with friends:  I enjoy texting with people.  Therefore, I will text.  Or even, make a phone call!!!
• Boredom: do sit ups....OK maybe not sit ups, but do something active.  Get up and take my dogs for a walk, even if it a few walks a night.  They will appreciate it I am sure!  If I feel the urge to facebook, I will do something productive.
• Document:  I think it is important to document things.  Just because I take a picture doesn't mean I need to post to a social networking sight.
• Projects:  In a weird way Facebook was like a virtual on going scrapbooking project that you couldn't even look through efficiently with there being some crazy ass update.  SO maybe now I will be able to do some of the project I posted on my "Hey, I can do that!" board on Pintrest.
• Write:  I LOVED to write through middle and high school.  And, well, I will be honest... College killed my desire to write.  That is why I am starting this blog.

Well, I think this might be enough for my first facebook-less night.

Time to go to sleep and listen to my nature sounds lite app... I prefer "rain on tarp."